The Standards of Beauty

Beauty in today’s society is a question that torments many young men and woman over the world. A resent poll taken on three different sites indicates that a total of 70% of individuals between the age of 10 and 20 feel as though they are not beautiful by the standards set by society. The basic need to be physically appealing has found its way into every humans mind. “Beautiful” is an adjective that is defined as “pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.” Each individual has a mind of their own. We each have a different perspective of beauty. One might be awed by the attractiveness of a rose, another may be turned away from the sight of its thorns. You see, a persons alternate version of what is beautiful does not define another’s. 

A quote from Michael Gonchar from a Learning Network blog states, “Not everybody can be beautiful-not if we’re relying on some conventional standards of physical beauty. Some of us are short or tall, stocky or lanky, with bushy eyebrows, a long nose, crooked teeth…” This goes to show that regardless of your appearance of yourself and others, beauty is a rather undefined and opinionated subject. It is a moral fortitude to the plain in defense when someone is described as not conventionally attractive. Words such as “ugly” or “fat” are also opinionated. This means you are not conventionally attractive according to society, however, again this is just an opinion. When someone calls you “ugly”, think to yourself, it is an opinion from society led by auto-tuned voices and model thin role models. Nobody is perfect. Words such as ugly, beautiful, perfect, fat, skinny. These are all opinions of a person, there is no statistical evidence that proves any of these words to be true. 

However, society today has proven to slowly rail in more imperfections. Many celebrities will tell you to live with your imperfections. One example of a man living with his is named Mr. Hoge. He tells his story of being born with his face flat and his eyes far far apart. His mother had left him at the hospital, telling family she “wished he would die”. After 5 weeks his siblings voted to have their mother bring him home. Growing up he was tormented and bullied in home and out, but he grew up to teach children to not hate or judge their imperfections. Sadly it is too important in today’s society to be perfect by their standards.

Personally I have had many altercations with these standards. Growing up I also, like many other students, wanted to be perfect. Growing up people called me beautiful and I just silently disagreed in my own mind. It got to the point that I hated when someone complimented me because it made me angry. I prayed and prayed that one day I would be skinny and if I couldn’t have that, I wanted to die. I would scream at God and cry, asking him why he made me broken. I would look into the mirror everyday before school and point out to myself what was “ugly”. Little did I know, even with those prayers answered I still didn’t feel beautiful.

I got diagnosed with a disease that makes it hard for me to eat. I went from 122lbs to a mere 102lbs within the first week of my diagnosis. I finally got it under control, but it made me feel worse about myself than I had before. I was too “skinny”. My family told me I look like a “holocaust survivor” or “anorexic”. When I moved back home I got back up to 108lbs, but there were still rumors of what happened to me. Students said I “got fat, then became anorexic” or “started doing drugs”. At first I cared, I would come home crying because these were people that didn’t know anything about me. I broke down, then I was scrolling past Instagram posts and I realized. They didn’t know, it isn’t there fault, and it isn’t mine. They were words of ignorance. I hated myself so much because of what other people said.

My whole life I’ve made it my priority to help other people. When I realized what I was doing to myself, changing me to fit in with the worlds standards, I decided to help myself. I quit trying so hard. I realized that I am beautiful the way I am and I don’t need to straighten my hair everyday, cake myself with makeup, eat McDonalds every day to try and gain weight, or wear Gucci clothes to fit it. I surrounded myself with people that made me no longer feel as though I needed to change. I no longer cried and begged God to change me. I no longer blamed and hated myself for the standards and words of individuals who didn’t know the truth. My mind is beautiful and the second I realized that, the sooner I found others that saw it to.

You see, some kids are good spellers; some have bad haircuts; some are fast runners; some are good singers; but “no one person is just one person”, meaning they are not just good at one thing. The thing they are good at, does not define them. The rules are the same with appearance. Don’t hold yourself, your friends, or anyone to a standard. People need to learn all over the world that it’s okay to look different, sound different, or think differently. That is what makes you, you. Don’t take away who you truly are, because once you lose it, it’ll be too far from view to get back. If someone judges you and holds you to a standard, then spend your time on someone who deserves it. Life is short, too short to worry about looks. “If you look good, you feel good.” This is only true if you believe it, not other individuals. You are in control, now you just have to believe it.